Axle Clean and Push Presses (1 clean)
46x5
76x4
106x3
136x2
166x2
196x1
226x1
256x0,1
276x0
46x5
76x4
106x3
136x2
166x2
196x1
226x1
256x0,1
276x0
Axle Clean
226x1
226x1
226x1
226x1
Axle Strict Presses w/ bands (+22lbs bottom/+40lbs top)
40x2
70x2
100x2
130x2
160x2
160x2
160x2
160x2
Comments: This was not a good workout. Another “I give up, this is dumb, I’m quitting” kind of workout. Not good to have more than one in month, let alone in a year. Same feelings from about 2 weeks ago. Didn’t want to eat, didn’t see point of training, didn’t feel like going to Nationals anymore and just giving up. After this workout, I went to bed and stayed there for 14hrs. Not really restful. Did nothing back eat and some basic chores. Skipped the last heavy workout for this cycle. Really depressed. Shed tears more than once from overwhelming emotions that needed release. I’m not 100% if I’m doing this still but it’s better than what I was at the day before. Like 75% sure. Back on a more normal sleeping and made myself go for a walk and leave my house for a little bit. Sadly that is progress. So on to this workout that I kind of didn’t want to post up but this log is more for myself then anything to keep track and why remove days? So on with it. Axle and I really seem to be oil and water right now. Seemed to be some progress and was hoping to have things go well this last heavy touch with it. I also had thought that I had the clean issue fixed with reverting to not right off the belt. Plan was to work up to 2nd attempt for axle. Something that I felt I had 5-10lbs left in the tank. Understanding fatigue from axle deadlift and such. Work up in singles. Listed said 20lbs jumps at a certain point. Suggested was 5lbs more than the botched double but see how things feel and try to not worry about weight on the bar. Warming up felt decent. Always seems to and then I get to a certain weight and then it sucks. 226lbs had felt fine and solid enough. Trying to not just bounce right off the belt. My confidence in the pick up of the axle to the belt has improved a lot. First go at 256lbs and I missed the clean. Came back and got it with a struggle. Press was harder than I would’ve liked. I was a bit flummoxed that I missed that weight on the axle. I thought getting It up higher was the solution. With how things felt, that was probably the stopping point. And for me, that was unacceptable. I’ve strict pressed this weight. Gave 276lbs and while I didn’t miss the clean completely, it had to take me two tries to get it up there. Press went up higher than when I missed it two weeks ago but it went way up and out in front. This was not the confidence booster of workout as it was planned to be. Decided to keep going as I knew if I stopped, I’d just become depressed. The next thing was just clean. Options had been if my clean was feeling good and press wasn’t there to do 5% heavier for a single and hold it for 10 seconds. That didn’t seem wise and the other option was suggested more to me with trying to get 1 or 2 singles at 10% less than the press for under fatigue singles. Honestly, at this point, everything I do is under fatigue it seems. So dropped it down to 226lbs for these which is more than 10% less. And I had the same damn issue I did with 276lbs with that first single with 226lbs. I had to double take it. I cursed loudly while I had it on my sternum after it failed to catch the first attempt. Second one was only a little better in that I didn’t have to double take but I was mad and threw it down and kicked the axle. Lot of rage and anger but not being able to put it where it would be helpful in lifting this axle. Next was strict presses with the axle against bands. Plan was to use 5% more from last week and do 4x2. I wasn’t looking at these positively. Probably didn’t help that after I tossed all the weights off the axle from the cleans that I chucked it at my power rack with full force. I knew it was futile, but I guess I just wanted to have some outer expression of my anger and have it be directed to something other than my person. And the axle worked fine for that. I worked up in doubles in 30lbs jumps. Trying to get through this workout. That first set didn’t move fast enough for my liking and I groaned/growled afterwards. Second one was worse and I shook the weights a bit afterwards. Third set finally felt right. Fourth set had a little slow down on the first rep and I got frustrated and just banged the setup off the rack until if fell off. Anger got the best of me and I rage quit the workout. Had my father stop by to talk with me to keep me calm and not immediately go into social scorched earth policy. I don’t understand it and it frustrates me that I can’t seem to find a solution to this and time is running out. I don’t want to get a zero on axle or any overhead press on the National level again. I’ve been there and done that. I don’t want to just be a placeholder number to fill out the line-up. I get so angry and frustrated when I feel like I’m being successful with weights that are 44lbs lower than what I was doing in May and I don’t feel like I’ve changed. The methods that worked in 2016 to 2020 don’t seem to be working and I’m kind of lost. Most of this time left between now and Nationals is trying to convince myself I can hit that opener. And if I can’t, then I may need to just stop this all for a good bit.
40x2
70x2
100x2
130x2
160x2
160x2
160x2
160x2
Comments: This was not a good workout. Another “I give up, this is dumb, I’m quitting” kind of workout. Not good to have more than one in month, let alone in a year. Same feelings from about 2 weeks ago. Didn’t want to eat, didn’t see point of training, didn’t feel like going to Nationals anymore and just giving up. After this workout, I went to bed and stayed there for 14hrs. Not really restful. Did nothing back eat and some basic chores. Skipped the last heavy workout for this cycle. Really depressed. Shed tears more than once from overwhelming emotions that needed release. I’m not 100% if I’m doing this still but it’s better than what I was at the day before. Like 75% sure. Back on a more normal sleeping and made myself go for a walk and leave my house for a little bit. Sadly that is progress. So on to this workout that I kind of didn’t want to post up but this log is more for myself then anything to keep track and why remove days? So on with it. Axle and I really seem to be oil and water right now. Seemed to be some progress and was hoping to have things go well this last heavy touch with it. I also had thought that I had the clean issue fixed with reverting to not right off the belt. Plan was to work up to 2nd attempt for axle. Something that I felt I had 5-10lbs left in the tank. Understanding fatigue from axle deadlift and such. Work up in singles. Listed said 20lbs jumps at a certain point. Suggested was 5lbs more than the botched double but see how things feel and try to not worry about weight on the bar. Warming up felt decent. Always seems to and then I get to a certain weight and then it sucks. 226lbs had felt fine and solid enough. Trying to not just bounce right off the belt. My confidence in the pick up of the axle to the belt has improved a lot. First go at 256lbs and I missed the clean. Came back and got it with a struggle. Press was harder than I would’ve liked. I was a bit flummoxed that I missed that weight on the axle. I thought getting It up higher was the solution. With how things felt, that was probably the stopping point. And for me, that was unacceptable. I’ve strict pressed this weight. Gave 276lbs and while I didn’t miss the clean completely, it had to take me two tries to get it up there. Press went up higher than when I missed it two weeks ago but it went way up and out in front. This was not the confidence booster of workout as it was planned to be. Decided to keep going as I knew if I stopped, I’d just become depressed. The next thing was just clean. Options had been if my clean was feeling good and press wasn’t there to do 5% heavier for a single and hold it for 10 seconds. That didn’t seem wise and the other option was suggested more to me with trying to get 1 or 2 singles at 10% less than the press for under fatigue singles. Honestly, at this point, everything I do is under fatigue it seems. So dropped it down to 226lbs for these which is more than 10% less. And I had the same damn issue I did with 276lbs with that first single with 226lbs. I had to double take it. I cursed loudly while I had it on my sternum after it failed to catch the first attempt. Second one was only a little better in that I didn’t have to double take but I was mad and threw it down and kicked the axle. Lot of rage and anger but not being able to put it where it would be helpful in lifting this axle. Next was strict presses with the axle against bands. Plan was to use 5% more from last week and do 4x2. I wasn’t looking at these positively. Probably didn’t help that after I tossed all the weights off the axle from the cleans that I chucked it at my power rack with full force. I knew it was futile, but I guess I just wanted to have some outer expression of my anger and have it be directed to something other than my person. And the axle worked fine for that. I worked up in doubles in 30lbs jumps. Trying to get through this workout. That first set didn’t move fast enough for my liking and I groaned/growled afterwards. Second one was worse and I shook the weights a bit afterwards. Third set finally felt right. Fourth set had a little slow down on the first rep and I got frustrated and just banged the setup off the rack until if fell off. Anger got the best of me and I rage quit the workout. Had my father stop by to talk with me to keep me calm and not immediately go into social scorched earth policy. I don’t understand it and it frustrates me that I can’t seem to find a solution to this and time is running out. I don’t want to get a zero on axle or any overhead press on the National level again. I’ve been there and done that. I don’t want to just be a placeholder number to fill out the line-up. I get so angry and frustrated when I feel like I’m being successful with weights that are 44lbs lower than what I was doing in May and I don’t feel like I’ve changed. The methods that worked in 2016 to 2020 don’t seem to be working and I’m kind of lost. Most of this time left between now and Nationals is trying to convince myself I can hit that opener. And if I can’t, then I may need to just stop this all for a good bit.
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