December 2, 2024 – Week 26, Day 1

Dynamic Warm Up

Axle Clean and Push Press (one clean)
50x8
80x5
110x3
140x2
170x2
200x1
230x1
260x1
290x0 (missed clean)
290x0 (missed press)

Comments: Things don’t always work out how we want or plan them. I probably should’ve noticed earlier that something was up before I took this action. But I guess I was holding on to things too long and finally had to drop them. Two weeks earlier, I was feeling a bit beat but was able to make it through the workouts and indicated concerns that I was not going to be able keep up the training so I was given a deload week. Not a full deload but one that should be enough to feel fresh. I actually felt worse as the week went on and it was messing with me mentally. I was seriously considering stopping training and trying my own thing with all the stress from life and work in the last few months. It has gotten worse each month since July. I got depressed shortly after I got back from Arizona last month and it got worse week of Thanksgiving (while on deload) because likely equating with Mike Jenkins’ passing. I was getting frustrated with feeling like I had to put in a lot more effort than I usually have to for effort on things. It looked good when I did stuff on camera but my parents were concerned reading my training write-ups about the stress. So initially the plan here was to do the workouts as written but I expressed that I felt like crap and was advised to deload even more. I felt I probably had peaked way too early and not feeling good. I was also considering scrapping everything and doing just fluff stuff and try normal the next week. Warming up for the session, my right knee was feeling a good bit better than it had from Saturday so I felt like I’ll do the heavy session. It was quite cold so I wore jacket and gloves between setting up equipment and sets. Axle clean and press. The plan here was to do singles with 30lbs jumps like I’ve been doing with goal of 290lbs for the top single. I was feeling pretty good here with working up in weight. 290lbs would be the most weight I’ve successfully done from the floor to overhead since 2022. I was not expecting this to be a fail with how I was feeling. I went for it and I missed getting it above my belt. It has been like 2.5yrs since I’ve done this. I took a step back and decided to not let it shake me but I was annoyed that I had done this. This time I got it up and was able to get the clean to my shoulders. It took a bit to get settled and then I went for it but it was too far out in front and I lost my balance and bailed on it. With that instant, I just felt like the past 6 months of training had been for nothing. I knew that I could just rest and recover and still compete in some fashion for this show I’ve been prepping for half a year now but I didn’t want to anymore. I wasn’t feeling as strong as I was feeling in my lower body and I didn’t want to go and fail at something under 300lbs on an overhead press yet again. I wasn’t enjoying this and I wasn’t having fun. I’m not fixing the problem and spending 5 months at light weights and only finding out I still not there when I get over 90% is a gut punch. So rage quit the training cycle right then and there. Pulling out of the competition, cancelling reservations and stopping coaching. Need to take a break and figure out what I want to be doing.